Has anyone ever noticed the person we lie to the most is ourself? We can be brutally honest with anyone who walks in the door. We can be honest to a fault (which by the way I am). We can make grown men cry by simply answering the question they asked us the the brutal honesty and sharpness of our tongue. However, with ourselves we dial it down.
As humans we feel pain in many places and ways. Some pain is good. A piercing or tattoo on any given day to remind us where we are in life. That's good pain. The pain of missing those who have past away. Good pain. We don't like it at all and may wish we didn't have to feel it, but it's good non the less. The sting in our muscles after a good work out. Good pain.
Then there is the pain the heart feels. This pain does not remain just in our hearts. It consumes the body. We become tired. So tired we can't sleep. We become hungry. So hungry we can't eat and crave nothing, but we are hungry. The pain in the heart is perhaps the greatest pain we as humans will ever feel. There is no way to slow it down or stop it. It is this pain that prevents us from being honest with ourselves. We do not want to be the cause of our own heartache. Who would really? So, in turn we put a spin on everything. We tell ourselves little white lies to get up in the morning, eat, go to work, basically function. We rely on others to tell us the truths we cannot tell ourselves. This however has one minor flaw, we then turn and call them liars and say they have no idea because they aren't in the situation.
The challenge I have found is knowing the hard brutal painful truth in your head and getting your heart to follow. This process takes a long time the heart doesn't want that pain your brain knows it soon will endure. So, we take it little by little. Step by step. Day by day. Soon enough it's been two days then three. One mile walked then four. Our heart has felt the pain our brain knew was coming. Our brain has become honest with our own heart over time. Giving just a bit of honesty each day letting that heal and pointing out something new to heal.
Then at the end of some most likely long and very unspecific amount of time we have finally been that honest with ourselves that we so readily unleash on anyone else who asks (and sometimes doesn't). That day will feel really good. This I promise you. So, take the time you need to hurt yourself. Take all the time you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Just do it though. In the end the all healed up heart feels a thousand times better than that cracked up one we protect from ourselves and the truths we know.
