Wednesday, August 20, 2008

School...


Is this what I want or replacing something?
Am I too old?
Will I get bored?
Will I fail?
Will I fail myself?
Is full time and work full time to much?
Will everyone look at me like I'm nuts?
Why do I feel like a five year old?
Will it all be worth it?

Thursday, August 14, 2008


My chest is aching with feeling.
My mind is racing with thought.

That bitch locked my words down though....

Friday, August 1, 2008

it's not all book learning here...


I am now fully enrolled and registered back in school. I guess I was bored with life. I want something more. I want all my dreams to come true. Not only do I want to chase them I want to catch them. This seemed like a good way to begin.

Outside of school there is also much learning in life that take place though. It isn't written in books although it should be. I'm not going to write a book, but I will share what I've learned in life and know to be my truth right here.

If you say you are grown up and living a "normal life" more than likely you aren't. Look inside and figure out why exactly you need to laugh at others in their life process. Realize more than likely you are still in the last steps of what is your process to becoming that "adult".

If you feel the need to say you are "drama free" you probably aren't. You are putting some form of drama out there and wanting someone to look your way.

It is okay to be who you are. Walk through life with your head held high even if the person standing next to you or passing you on the street doesn't like you.

Being kind to a fault is more than okay. Give all you have to give to those you love. Even if they don't return it you will feel good.

There are times when it is hard. Feeling selfish and a little jealous about some things is okay. I mean honestly how many of us out there are going to be making the sainthood no matter how good we are?

Just because you are kind and good doesn't mean others are. It takes all kinds.

Believe you deserve good coming your way.

Have loyalties. Have them for the right reason to you. Stand by them hard and firm. It may be hard and it may hurt, but if you can't look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the night because you jumped on a band wagon or betrayed someone just for one night of laughter. That's not so worth it. Those that truly love you will let you live how you want and understand.

When you run your mouth you look stupid the next day when you do what you said you never would. So always be careful to say what you mean and mean what you say.

Respect yourself.

Respect that what others believe to be their truth in life is okay. Hey, if it doesn't work for you just walk away.

When your faith is stretched so thin that everyone can see right through your soul, look inside. That is when you will learn the most about yourself and humanity.

As we stare off into the sunset and think about the "should've, could've, would've, what ifs" in life what are we missing?

I try not to, but I think I miss out on a tremendous amount of the here and now thinking about the past and the turns I could've taken. I don't regret anything. Yet I wonder.

Maybe in my next life I'll go left instead of right.